With Mother’s Day coming up soon, I can’t help but write about mothers. I mean is there a person that can have a bigger influence on your life than a mother? Amazing moms are everywhere. You may have one, you may know one, you probably are one and don’t realize it.

Moms can be hard on themselves. Somehow we think that we need to create a Pinterest-worthy home where we hold regular Pinterest-worthy parties, and photograph our Pinterest-worthy meals.

Being amazing has nothing to do with appearances.

Amazing Moms Listen

I look to my own mom as an example. She is hands down the best listener I know. She listens without judgment. She will listen to me blather on about a bunch of nonsense and not make one critical comment, which takes some serious self-control.

How do I know? Having listened to my own children chatter endlessly about who know what, I now realize how hard it is to be a good listener. It takes discipline to listen to the rambling thoughts of a child.  I have to stop myself from interjecting when I disagree or don’t like the tone my child is taking.  I’ve even had one of my kids call me out with a, “Don’t comment. I just want you to listen.” Oops.

Sometimes children need someone to listen without judgment to whom they can vent their frustrations. They need someone to listen until the end of the story and then tell them that things will get better.

Amazing Moms Laugh

Laughter relieves stress, breaks tension, and lightens hearts. Amazing moms laugh when they feel like crying. My mom has an infectious laugh that borders on a giggle. I can’t help myself but laugh with her. Some of my favorite childhood memories involve laughing over silly things like the time she slipped on a banana peel, yes, for reals, or the time I stuck my finger in a light socket. It’s still funny twenty years later.

Children want to laugh with their parents. They want us to be silly. Of course, we can’t be silly all of the time but sometimes moms can get caught up in ‘getting things done’. I know I do. My kids will want me go for a walk with them or come out and see their latest fort. What I really want to do is have them pick up their backpacks and help me with the never-ending piles of laundry.

When I take the time to do little activities with them throughout the day, I find myself laughing with them more often. We laugh at our dog eating a moth while we walk. We laugh at my adorable 4-year-old skipping down the road. We laugh at the time the kids collect caterpillars but kept dropping and stepping on them. Poor caterpillars.

I read an article once, and can’t find it or I would link to it here, that talked about our strongest childhood memories. Studies found that our strongest memories tend to be the ones with the strongest emotional reactions. I don’t want my children’s memories to be full of the times that I got mad at them.

I want their memories to be full of laughter.

Amazing Moms Aren’t Always Their Child’s Best Friend

My mom is one of my best friends. She always has been but…when it came time to be a mom, she was Mom. If I wasn’t behaving myself, treating someone right, or simply being a pill she called me out. She was always Mom first.

I can remember distinctly getting very angry with her and slamming my bedroom door. It was a very rare occurrence that she and I didn’t get along. Maybe that’s why this memory is so vivid in my mind. I don’t remember the details, but I do remember knowing that she was right. I was angry because she wouldn’t side with me even though I was wrong. Mom first, friend second.

I want to be my children’s friend, I really do, but I want them to know right from wrong first. I can’t teach them that if I’m too busy being their best friend.

I wish children could understand how much parents dislike disciplining them. I want to have fun with them all the time but that is not reality. Someday when they have kids of their own, they’ll understand.

Amazing Moms Love and Sacrifice

Amazing moms love unconditionally. I don’t always like how my children act or the choices they make, but I always, always, always love them.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a mom who hasn’t  had to significantly sacrifice for their children in some way. The very act of childbirth is a sacrifice that some don’t survive.

I once spoke with a mom whose son  had experience seizures as a newborn. He suffered severe brain damage. She and I ran into each other at the swimming pool twice a week while my boys took swimming lessons. She took her son to the swimming pool or beach every day of the week. It was the only way he would sleep more than 3 or 4 hours at night. She told me of the hardships her family suffered for her son but in a very factual way. She wasn’t looking for sympathy even though I offered it anyway. I expressed how hard that must be for her.

She looked and me and said, “You love your kids. You do whatever it takes. I don’t notice how hard it is anymore.” Wow. I was and still am amazed at this mom who didn’t feel sorry for herself when she most certainly could have.

My parents came and watched my brother and me in every activity we ever participated in, plus they would wear matching t-shirts. In fact, at one basketball game they weren’t matching and one of my teammates asked if they were fighting. I used to wonder how they could stand sitting through all those games, competitions, and stage performances.

My mom even came and watched me perform in every performance of Camelot. I was on stage for like 5 minutes during the whole 2 1/2 hour show. That’s love. I used to wonder why they would sacrifice like that. Now that I have kids participating in activities…I get it. It kills me that I can’t watch both my girls play in volleyball tournaments at the same time in different schools. I would happily watch every practice if it weren’t for the fact that I have 3 other kids that need me too.

I am not as amazing as my mom or half of the other moms that I come into contact with, but every mom is amazing in some way. We can’t always see the sacrifice but it’s there.

Moms are amazing because they love, they worry, they pray, and they try.

I’m grateful for all the amazing moms I’ve known. I hope to be like them. I know I have a ways to go but when I look at this list, I realize I’m doing okay.

I hope that’s what every mom thinks. You may not be perfect, but you are doing okay. You are amazing.